Second Hand Lions

Watching Second Hands Lions with my Dad. It's one of our favorite movies. The story is just so perfect and complete. It has a little bit of everything in it. I hope to be as great a storyteller myself someday. It's definitely givnig me something to shoot for. It has both action and romance. And there are scenes when the audience is scared for some of the characters. I wodner, was this story made by just a great screenwriter, or was it a book or graphic novel first?

Joe Bobb likes to chew on my chin and thumbs. Sadie likes to lick him. I'm not sure what that's about....we are all content for now. I hope nothing else major happens in my life besides my wedding someday, and hopefully giving birth to my future children. Dear God, I have a feeling of dread like something bad will happen. Please, prove me wrong.

Work

I am so tired of writng papers. When I tell people this they look at me like I'm crazy for wanting to be a writer. What they don't seem to understand is when you ejnoy literature, writng a story that you get to chose its content is fun. Writing essays is what I'm tired of doing. I feel like i'm just repeating myself over and over. There is no such thing as an original paper anymore. I guess the same cold be argued about works of fiction, but I still such potential to be unique.

Looking forward to later this afternoon. I'm going to spend the day with my mother and we are going to the mall. I hope it's not too crowded. It's got to be full of holiday shoppers. So annoying. I was finished Christmas shoppnig 3 weeks ago. I wish other people planned a head also. We are needing to return some stuff or else we wouldn't be going.

Joe Bob learned how to use the ramp inside his cage. I was worried he couldn't crawl p it to get to his food. Last night I wok eup to his scratching sounds. He was trying to stand up right and pull himself up onto the upper level. The poor thing couldn't do it and fell. Who ever designed this cage was stupid. Why would you create a slick walk way? I'm glad we figured this out in less than a days time. I'm also glad we had been feeding him out of our hands. Thank goodness he wasn't being starved.

My dog, Sadie, likes to play with Joe Bob. She started to lic his fur. Joe Bob made a purring sounded and nibbled on Sadie's leg. She assumed he was trying to bite her so she tried to pounce on him. Luckily I was able to delfect Sadie before she could hurt him. I guess I can't let them play together anymore.

End of the Semester Jitters

I'm editing a paper I've written for Dr. Macey. I've been staring at it a while now; don't know if it's going to get an better. I guess I'm feeling more stress than usual since it's being read a highly intelligent individual who controls my grade. Also, this paper is taking the place of a final exam. I'm really nervous about how it'll turn out. Mostly scared I'll sound stupid. I'm almost done wit my craft essay for my Comic class; mainly editing it as well. This whole semester went by fast though and I'm scared I haven't completed something that I should have. But of course I always have this feeling. Someday I want to be rich enough to higher a personal assistant. Today I had a ental appointment written down in my planner for 11:00AM. I had a feelign I must've got the date wrong though. I called ahead to the clinic to check, and sure enough I had the wrong date and time! How does this always happen? I could have swore I was extra careful when I wrote it down. This is why I need help. I'm about the be 24 and I feel like I can't even take care of myself. I bet this is why I'm also scared about my final grades this semester even though I've got good grades on al lmy assingments thus far. My boyfriend tells me allt he time that I worry too much. Which is funny because he stresses out real easily too. Bless him for having the power to calm me down though.

JoeBob

My 24th birthday is coming up soon. My mother went with me to Edmond today to check out of my apartment. While we were there we went to PetSmart. She told me to pick out a guinea pig for my birthday! I picked out one of the smallest ones they had. They said they just got him in the other day and he's still a baby. I've never had a guinea pig before so I keep laughing at all the cute sounds he makes. I can't wait till he's "popcorning" like the worker at the store said he would; apparently when they're really excited to see you they jump up and down. They also whistle for attention! Her and my jack russell terrrier are getting along really well. That surprised me.

I asked my dad and mom what we should name him. Dad came up with the name JoeBob. He looks like a completely different guinea pig depending on which side you look at him from; hence the two names!

Got to go. Baking brownies while typing essays and playing with my pets. More later.

Christmas Shopping

Every year me, my sister, my cousins, my aunt and my grandmother all have a girls day out and go shopping together. Last year, just a month and a half after Leslie died we all went shopping together. I think we each cried at different times. This year will be just as rough. I still miss just as much. Sometimes I think it hurts more because it's longer that I haven't got to see her. I wish she could watch our little cousin Devon now that he's walking. And I want her to be able to see our cousin Garrett before he goes to Guam. My life, my family, has altered greatly in just a little over a year. I honestly feel like a different person now and I don't know if that's good or bad. Sadie is amazing. I still miss Bear. I have other girls saying I'll be your sister. Which is a nice gesture but obviously does not count. All of my typing seems random. Sorry about that. I'm also worried. I have several essays I'm working on my school. I thinking I'm coming done with something. I feel like crap. Oh well...

Semester is over. Time of truth.

My Birthday

I told my roommate Tadashi first what's been on my mind: I'm about to have my 24th birthday. It's not a huge milestone or anything, but that's how old Leslie was when she died. It's depressing. A little sister should never have to catch up in age to her older sister. I still celebrated Leslie's 25th birthday and I will every birthday after that, but I feel like her mind and body are frozen in time. No one will ever see what she would look like if she were older than 24. She never got to have her dream wedding or start a family like she wanted. If things go as they should, I will have done all those things in my lifetime.

This year I will be 24. Next year I will be 25; one of the many things Leslie will never get to do. Spring 2012 I will graduate with my Masters degree. That's probably the first thing I will get to experience before her even though she was heading toward that goal first. This year I watched one of her favorite books that had been turned into a movie. I hung up the Christmas lights, her annual tradition. I got to eat lunch with Scott today, Leslie's love of her life. They were so close to getting married I feel like he's my brother. Though Leslie is gone, all the bonds she helped me form during her life remain and in a weird way feel stronger.

It feels like Leslie's life and my life are slowly blending together since I'm doing things she was doing before she passed away. Normally I would be looking at what Leslie had done recently and think to myself, "I will get to do that too someday." Now that I've caught up to her, I feel like my life isn't real. It's just a dream and I try to just get through each day. Leslie's my best friend. Everything feels hollow without her.

Nothing but OSU Haters

For as long as I can remember, I have heard people discuss how OSU has improved but at the moment of truth they will choke. This season the cowboys proved everyone wrong. They slaughtered at Bedlam and the only game they lost was on the road in a double over time and after learning some of their OSU faculty was killed in a plane crash. This team deserves much more recognition and respect than the rest of the country is giving them. I am so sick of hearing the SEC this the SEC that. From what I understand LSU and Alabama did not have that hard of a season. How do we know they're good if they didn't play anyone!? Meanwhile the Cowboys played ranked teams and teams with a winning season. The most annoying aspect of this season has been hearing the ESPN reporters lobbying for LSU and Alabama. And that Herbstreit guy is a joke. I've never seen a more biased individual. OSU was statistically higher than Alabama when the BCS looked at the computer scoring. So that means it was other biased coaches who determined the outcome of the BCS championship match up, not skill. Let's not forget that the last time LSU and Alabama played was a snooze fest. I guarantee you this Cowboys fan won't be watching this disgrace of a rematch. Maybe if Alabama trully deserved 2nd place, but without my favoritism even, the Cowboys were clearer the better of the two teams.

Christmas Lights

I've made it my personal goal to decorate the outside of my house every year with Christmas lights. The year before she died Leslie was the one who decorated our house. She outlined most of it and even had a long strand going down the front of our privacy fence. It bothered some of my relatives when I decorated with the lights similar to Leslie, but to me it had to be done. She was proud of her work and always looked forward to the holidays. To me it would be terrible not to carry on the traditions we had shared together. I believe Leslie checks in on us sometimes from Heaven and I want her to see them lights! Two months after she passed away was our first Christmas without Leslie. Her death has been a pain like none other. But, gritting my teeth and letting the tears flow, I decorated my apartment balcony at UCO since Mom did not want to see the lights outside our home yet. she said it hurt too much and was just too soon. This year Mom agreed to let me hang up the lights. I purposely hung some of the lights down the privacy fence just like Leslie had, like Leslie wanted.

I love you, Leslie. When I see you again let me know if you enjoyed the lights I hung for you.

Bittersweet

Mid-September I was driving to Edmond for school. On the way there, I went by the place Leslie had had her car accident. I became upset and started screaming while driving. I cried out loud and could not stop. I was angry at God and wanted my questions answered. I made it safely to school, thank you God, but I was still upset. I prayed later that night for God to bring me comfort. Over the next couple of days, I could feel my anger slowly leaving me, which was great because I believe it is necessary to do so or else you will miss out on what God is saying.

Two nights after my agonizing drive to school I had calmed down enough to finally get a good night’s sleep. That night I had the most awesome dream of my life. I dreamt I was at a family gathering here in Paden. While we were conversing with one another I heard someone say, “It’s the rapture.” My father who was standing to my right was glowing. I noticed that we all had this same brilliant light surrounding us. I felt weightless and comforted, like when you take a deep relaxing breath after a long day. I felt like I was floating and the earth dissolved around us. We were in Heaven. Leslie and other people who have already passed on were there waiting to greet us. Leslie was no longer wearing her normal white dress that I have been seeing her in. Instead she was wearing her normal clothing. I think it’s because our bodies will rise once Christ comes. Everyone was happy and relieved to see one another. I could see Leslie’s smiling face as she hugged people, glad to once again be united with them. I was surrounded by blissfully happy people, but I could not enjoy it. I had noticed there were many people I knew who were not there. I do not remember their specific names, maybe God just wanted to emphasize that not everyone will enter Heaven. There was only one person’s name who I could recall not being there.

I did not run to Leslie or my other relatives that I also love dearly. I knew they were safe and I was on a mission. I kept searching for this special person who was not there. I started weeping, the most intense sadness that I have ever felt. I panicked. I started asking the people around me where was Jesus. They gave me an odd look and continued to speak with one another. I finally started crying out his name, “Jesus! Where are you Jesus?” As soon as I cried out for him he answered me. He said, “Here I am. I have been here with you all along.” I could not see a body. I just felt his warm comforting voice washing over me. I told him my loved one was not in Heaven with us; they must still be on earth. I asked if I could go back and tell them what I had seen. I wanted to try and help them still make it to Heaven. He told me I could go back but that I needed to understand this: if I were to go back, I would be stuck on earth for many years during a great war. He told me I would suffer greatly, but not to worry because he would have a place for me in Heaven. I gladly agreed to this and cried in gratitude.

Then I woke up.

Art Struggle

I am trying to decide on the art style of my graphic novel. I've been watching shows likes Fooly Cooly and Black Butler to help me decide. I grew up trying to draw things realistically. Primarily I've drawn buildings and landscapes, so I'm having a hard time trying to draw my characters. Anyone else having this same problem? My influences for the story are: Kaori Yuki's "Angel Sanctuary", Yana Toboso's "Black Butler" (Kuroshitsuji), Tim Burton, Matusri Hino, and the soundtrack to xxxHolic. I enjoy all of these things, but their style is much different than how I usually draw. Is anyone else working with an artisit?

On a different note, I'm hoping to make it to Izumicon again this year. I am a huge anime/manga fan. My room is covered in wall scrolls and fan drawings. I can draw manga and manhwa character styles. I'm just not sure if they're appropraite for my story. I might try several different style sketches for each character and elt the other students help me decide when I give my presentation next week.

When I draw I actually use pencils, ink and paper. I'm not sure how it will look compared to modern works that are now done digitally.

I guess I have several small questions and I just need to try all options before deciding.

Wish me luck!

Excited!

I finished reading chapter 1 of McCloud's book and I'm excited to start working on my comic now. I think I'm going to start with the model sheets for my characters that McCloud mentioned in the chapter. Anyone else working on the same thing? Are there any materials you'd recommend that I use? I have some copic and prismacolor markers I will use later on when I'm inking in my work. I've had them for years though and I'm not sure how much longer they'll last. Is there a cheaper alternative that is still just as good quality?

I've started reading chapter 2 already. I never thought about people having primary facial expressions. It's cool that they can be combined to create thousands of others. Has anyone else noticed this before?

Also, since I'm still new to western comics (I'm a manga and manhwa love; guilty as charged) is there any you would recommend?

My Comic History...and other random things

I'm taking a Writing Comic Books & Graphic Novels course at UCO. Everyone in the class seems nice though they're intimidating. I never even heard of the Justice League until a couple years ago when my little cousins had to explain it to me. I grew up in a small town in central Oklahoma where no stores sold comics; not within 45 minutes or more of my home anyway (this I learned when I was around 18). I didn't even know comics were really sold in those pamphlets any more either. When I found out they were still popular I just assumed they were anthologies of older works.

The first book I read that wasn't a typical novel was "Angel Sanctuary" Vol. 1 by Kaori Yuki. It's a manga and the review online said the artist/writer was the "queen of macabre" and "Tim Burton-esque" in her art style. I wasn't disappointed and would recommend the series to anyone. However, when trying to turn it into an anime series, the company shut down production because the series was too controversial. There was only three episodes ever made. The book series contained: murder, rape, incest, the devil as the hero and lots and lots of gore. It sounds disugsting, but I think it's one of the most beautful stories ever told. Bottom line: go read it.

Don't worry; I'm getting back on topic now. Because I enjoyed manga I decided to read a real graphic novel. I chose "Blankets" as my first and I enjoyed it. To be honest I haven't a read a graphic novel yet that I haven't liked. I'm always up to suggestions if anyone has any.